Going from Good to GREAT!

How do we go from good to great? Of late, I have been hearing a lot about how (past and current) great creative masters (whether musicians, chefs, programmers, artists, designers, etc.) were able to stand out amongst others in their field. What I am finding is that the first step towards mastery is to learn and replicate how the best have done it before you. However, after that you must go one step further and take all that you know (in your heart and mind) and all the experiences you've had in your life and channel it into your work, so you can recreate it as your own. This idea implies that contrary to what some people might believe, it isn't shameful to copy what others are doing or have done -- matter-of-fact it's encouraged -- but the world still needs your special stamp on it.  How can you present your skill in a way that reflects your unique perspectives and experiences? 

To illustrate this point, think about what it takes to learn a new language. You need to first learn the main structures of the new language and vocabulary, so that you can build up to some phrases before you can then start freely expressing yourself.  The same can be applied to learning how to play an instrument. You have to learn notes, strung together to play chords, and some basic songs before you can then start to improvise and create your own music and signature style.

Achieving mastery takes confidence, courage and the ability to trust one's self above and beyond the doubts/condemnation/criticism of others, as well as from your own inner critic. Are you able to recognize when internal or external voices are telling you to stop and still make the conscious choice to move forward anyway?  Are you willing to work through obstacles and use disappointments as opportunities to learn how to continue forward? If so, mastery is well within your reach.

I encourage you to think about how you can take what you have learned and experienced in life; and package it up together in your own unique way to present to the world.  What would that look and feel like? Trust that you are enough, you already have everything you need within you, and what you have to offer is special (even if others are doing similar work) because it is part of you and there is no one else in this world like you.

Living Simply to Live More Richly

Part of what I'm noticing and love about Medellin is its tendency toward simplicity. From deciding how long to work (versus play); choosing décor for their homes and businesses; and/or deciding on what foods to prepare, the people here air on the side of minimalism. For example, many people don't work on Sundays (and some don't work on Monday either) and return home to eat a freshly prepared meal with their families; walls are painted white and decorated with plants; and restaurants promote the "meal of the day" as opposed to giving lots of choices.  The Paisas seemingly have enough to make them feel comfortable and satisfied, but not too much to make their lives feel overly cluttered or complicated. In my own life, I realize that the less material things I need to buy and take care of, the more freedom and finances I have to focus on the things/experiences that bring me the most inspiration and joy, such as traveling.

What and how much one "needs" to feel happy and fulfilled is very different for every person and we must determine honestly for ourselves what is enough and what is too much. I recommend that we all take regular breaks from our daily routines/rituals to ask ourselves the following questions:

• What are the things (in terms of material possessions, commitments, harbored emotions, etc.) in my life that most inspire me and contribute to my joy and freedom?
• Are there other things I can let go of that are getting in the way? 
• Am I willing to take action and clean out what is no longer serving me to make more room for what is?

For this trip, David and I did not buy fancy things to travel with, we don't have any desire to stay at fancy places or splurge on fancy meals; nor do we have fancy lives waiting for us back at home; yet we still feel so rich inside being able to share this crazy, amazing experience with each other, learning new things and meeting new people in new places all over the world. #grateful

Slow Down to Experience More

David and I recently saw a documentary called Given about the Goodwin family, who went on an epic surfing adventure across 15 countries to give their 6-year old son the opportunity to expand his horizons and gain a deeper understanding of life. The cinematography of this movie was spectacular and delivered a sensory experience like no other movie I have ever seen. I immediately became infatuated with this adventurous, down-to-earth family and naturally wanted to see more of their photography on Instagram (@thegoodwinway) and their social media account does not disappoint. Beyond the photography, I was drawn to the advice they leave in their profile, which says, "Slow Yourself Down, you will see so much more."  I love this suggestion! If we can slow down our pace just a bit more during our days, we will see, hear and feel so much more; not only in our physical environment, but also in our internal landscapes. With our minds uncluttered and present, we can more fully sense all the nuances of the people and things we encounter. We notice their beauty and we understand more about the world around us. And with our minds uncluttered and present, we can more fully sense all the nuances of our own mind, body and spirit (emotions). We notice our own beauty and understand more about ourselves and what we need in order to be happy and thriving. What a richer experience our life would become!

Stop and Reflect, Part 2

I am currently reading Cal Newport's book, Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World, in which he explains how we can get more done in less time on projects that are important to us, by focusing our full attention and eliminating distractions. He cites convincing research about the negative effects of multi-tasking on our overall productivity to support his argument. Since starting the book, I've been increasingly noticing how addicted I am to distraction and how I tend to ease my boredom or procrastinate via social media (specifically, Instagram), mind-wandering, opting for a snack or beverage break, engaging in superficial conversation, fidgeting, running non-essential errands, and etcetera. The questions I am now asking myself are (1) why do I distract myself; and (2) how do I stop? For the second question, Cal offers practical tips which include having a meditation practice (I'll say more after), setting aside specific times during the day for deep work done in a private space where you won't be distracted (consider your local Starbucks out). While you are working, put a "do not disturb" sign on your door, shut off email notifications, turn your phone off or put it out of sight, and commit to not doing anything else until the allotted time has finished. Similarly, he recommends an "Internet Sabbath," where we designate specific times during the day to use our technology (web surfing, phone, email, video games, etc.) and then avoid it for the rest of the day, so we can focus on work that is more meaningful.

As a meditation teacher, it would be remiss of me if I didn't say a little more about the benefits of meditation for deep work.  Meditation can help settle the fear-based thoughts in our minds that keep us stuck in toxic emotions (anxiety, guilt, regret, etc.). Settling our thoughts also clears our head to make more room for the deep work. It also gives us the opportunity to reconnect with our heart/intuition to access its wisdom. Meditation can additionally help us become more aware of when we feel triggered, so we can choose to respond to our environment in a loving way. Lastly, it trains us to become more comfortable with discomfort, so we can acknowledge and accept when negative emotions/experiences arise, to work through them and then let them go. (Please send me a message if you want to learn more.)

In regard to why I turn toward distractions, I've been doing some reflecting and trace it back to a fear of "not being enough." Why do I distract myself with Instagram? Consciously, I want to see what other people are doing, so I can be inspired. However, unconsciously I believe I want to measure myself up against others and confirm that I have valuable things to share. Perhaps I am also looking for something outside of myself (an external distraction) to make me feel happy and whole, which again implies that I think I need to be and do more; and that my life needs to be more. Or perhaps the present moment is uncomfortable and feels out of my control and I don't have confidence/trust in my ability to handle it, so instead of dealing with the moment, I opt instead to distract myself or procrastinate. These beliefs are toxic and not only do they distract me from my deep work, but they are also destructive to my overall confidence, courage, and growth.

Potential remedies for this fear of "not enough-ness" have been showing up in my environment of late (synchronicity?). Author Mel Robbins (The 5-Second Rule) suggests "to stop giving a shit" and just take authentic action.  Who cares what your friends think?! If they aren't supportive or at least understanding then they don't belong in your tribe. Maya Angelou also laments on the sadness of "a story untold." When we escape this moment or when we hide ourselves from the world, we not only deprive ourselves of self-love and the gift of being able to live authentically, but we also deprive the world of our bird song.

"I'm not enough" is a battle I started to fight some time during my teenage years. I'm learning every day how to win this war and am becoming more and more aware of when it rears its ugly head in my life. The more I become aware, the easier it is for me to choose new thoughts and behaviors that reflect the love I want to express in the world, for both myself and for others. My first step towards change will be to continue cultivating this moment-to-moment awareness of my behaviors (we can't change what we are not aware of); and then putting Cal's tips to work will be the second. As such, I commit to (1) increasing the length of my morning (meditation) sit, (2) setting 2 times during the day (after breakfast and lunch) for my social media and internet usage, and (3) listening to a guided meditation my partner (David) created for me to directly penetrate my subconscious with suggestions of peace, calm, confidence, and courage, every night before going to bed. 

Stop and Reflect

Life is full of rich experiences which trigger us to feel so many different things. Our emotions are the surface level manifestations of deeply-held beliefs and judgments we have about ourselves and the world. How often do you stop and reflect on why you feel a certain way? Why did what your friend said make you feel angry? Why did what you saw on Facebook make you feel anxious? There is so much to discover about ourselves from our emotions. Whether in the moment or at the end of the day, take a moment to stop and reflect, so you can learn more about yourself and grow into the person you want to become. (In my next post, I'll share an example from my own life.)

Give your Exhale the Attention it Deserves

When breathing during yoga and meditation, many of us (including myself) have the tendency to pay more attention to our in-breaths and less to our out-breaths, almost as if we are rushing to get to our next inhale and the exhale is merely a roadblock.  But what would it be like to give equal attention to our exhales? In life we are not always fully present/aware, oftentimes running toward the next moment.  Some of us tend to only focus on what is wrong with ourselves and in the world and gloss over the good (negativity bias); others have the tendency to distract themselves from what they don't want to acknowledge. What if we could develop our awareness, so that we can embrace all of life, the good and the not-so-good, to fully experience the joys and be able to feel and release our sorrows? I believe that we can increase our happiness through this process of cultivating awareness and acceptance. Life will continue to show up in ways we can't control or predict. Rather than ignoring or fighting against it, we can acknowledge whatever arises, and then we can choose how we respond (with our thoughts, words and actions) to create a more joyful life for ourselves and for all those we interact with.

Meditation Tip: Embrace Distractions

During meditation, distractions (thoughts, sounds, sensations will come up. Often we try to fight against them and feel annoyed by their arrival. Thoughts and other distractions will always come up (just as your lungs were meant to help you breathe, your mind is meant to help you think). Notice how you feel in your mind, body and spirit (emotionally) when you try to wish away distractions. Then I challenge you to let go of your judgments and your expectation to have silence in your mind during your practice. Let your thoughts/distractions come and go like clouds passing in the sky. Once you get distracted again, bring your attention back to your breath and continue on. If you can practice in this way, you'll notice how much more peaceful and calm you feel afterwards.

Let Them Be

Sometimes when interacting with others we want to intervene with our own words and actions, telling them how we think they should feel or what we think they should do. Often times this comes from an unconscious need to feel in control and rewards us with a sense of safety and stability. We are uncomfortable with the other person's pain, so we want to take it away. 

I had this conversation with David (my partner) last night:

K: "How are you feeling, David?"

D: "I miss my parents."

K: "Well, let's call them."

D: "I know I can call them. I'm just letting you know how I feel."

This is a simple example, but think about all the times you try to intervene in someone else's life to "fix" their problems. Sometimes these people just want you to listen. Let them be. Give that person the love and the space they need to feel seen and heard. Only involve yourself in whatever way they specifically ask of you.

The Awareness Advantage

In the Biology of Belief, Bruce Lipton also explains that our bodies contain receptor cells which receive external cues from our environment; and effector cells which translate the information and produce a response.  Every signal produces a response and our survival depends on this process. In our lives, we depend on information to inform our actions.  When we are fully present, focused, observant, curious and asking questions, we are able to perceive and absorb more information from our environment and thereby make smarter, more life-affirming decisions.  It is true, as Viktor Frankl proposed, that between stimulus and response there in a space and in that space we have the power to choose; and in our choice lies our power and freedom.  In order to make the best choices for ourselves, we need to be aware of external stimuli and what they can inform us. As I am venturing out to new places, I will continue to ask the locals what to do and not to do; where to go and where not to go, so that we can experience the hidden gems and avoid the hidden dangers. In Nicaragua, we received a tip from a local fisherman to visit some natural pools.  Had we not asked him questions (built our awareness), we would have decided not to make the effort to climb over the many rocks to get to the pools or perhaps put ourselves in danger trying to go somewhere we didn't belong (informed our action). I believe that awareness is the secret sauce to a life well lived.

Overcoming Stability to Live a More Delicious Life

In his book, Bruce Lipton (Biology of Belief or "BOB") explains that all cells contain electrically charged molecules that attract or repel each other and in doing so, are able to perform the cell's vital functions. He points out that our cells are perpetually trying to achieve a state of stability. Just like our smallest building blocks, we (full humans) also tend to seek stability, forming patterns/routines/rituals that make us feel comfortable, sticking with what and who we already know.  Arriving at Popoya Beach, I felt a sense of hesitation and anxiety, which is crazy because I love the beach and the ocean and knew I'd have more time to do yoga, meditate, reflect, relax and otherwise take good care of myself.  I decided to investigate these rogue emotions and found that there was an underlying fear of discomfort hiding behind them.  David really wanted me to learn how to surf so we could paddle out together and I was nervous that I wouldn't be able to learn.  I was resistant to the discomfort that comes with the learning process, which, in the beginning, involves a seemingly endless process of trying and failing (repeat). Understanding this, I knew I would not let the fear of failure (not being enough) prevent me from the excitement of enjoying the beach and learning a new sport.  It has been said that if all babies quit trying to walk after falling too many times, we'd be a sedentary species. I decided to give surfing a go and loved (mostly) every second of my experience, surfing 2x every day while we were there.  Change is difficult, venturing into the unknown is difficult, learning something new is not easy.  However, if we don't push ourselves to go beyond our boundaries, we will miss out on some of life's most exciting experiences.  Think about vinegar and oil. Bruce points out that they are oppositely charged and therefore don't mix well together until shaken; and how much more delicious our salads are because of it. I encourage you to go out and explore, do something different, try something new, so that you can venture toward living a more delicious life.

Stepping into My Power at Inanitah

When I arrived at this eco-community, I initially felt intimidated by all the beautiful, smart, talented and powerful women I encountered.  I felt like they all had so much to offer in terms of life experiences and skills/talents/abilities; and I questioned whether I had anything to contribute in return.  My instinct was to hide, shrink away and wallow in my feelings of shame and inadequacy.  However what I learned from my experience and those young women is that I must show up confidently and authentically as my own, unique self to be able to share myself fully with others.  I am me and no one else is like me.  The world needs what I have to offer and I do a disservice to myself and to those around me when I shrink and play small.  I choose to love and honor myself.  I choose to step out boldly in to the world and offer the best of me.  I don't have to be all things to all people.  I must focus on what it is (my unique strengths) that I have to share.  I don't need to look around me and measure myself up against others.  Your gifts are uniquely yours; and mine are uniquely mine.  We all are better off when each of us is shining our own light as brightly as possible.  The strength of our global community depends on the well-being of each individual.  It is my duty, honor and privilege to cultivate my best self in service to our world.

Learning and Growth from Nicaragua to Colombia

We've arrived to Colombia to start the next chapter of our journey.  I've only had this morning to explore but am already falling in love with the people, weather and simple living.  I have been mostly disconnected from technology while I was in Nicaragua, but I still have so much to share about my experience living in an ecological healing center, learning how to surf at a remote beach, all the while reading Bruce Lipton's book, The Biology of Belief, which explores the scientific explanation of how our physical health (and environment) is ultimately shaped by our unconscious beliefs.  I would like to share my reflections in case anyone else can relate and benefit, but it's a lot of ground to cover, so I'll break it up into chunks.  I'll explain more about how I learned to defeat my self-doubt to show up as my most powerful self; practiced self-awareness and curiosity to go beyond fear, embrace adventure, while also staying safe; the science behind polarity and the law of attraction; and more.

Self-love is a Journey.

A lesson I have been working on for some time now is self-love.  It is quite easy for me to love and see all the goodness in others.  It is easy for me to believe in their positive intentions and acknowledge that they are trying to live this life as best as they can; to be the best mother/father, brother/sister, husband/wife, daughter/son, employee, community member they can be.  It's easy for me to have compassion for those who are struggling, recognizing that we all just want to be safe, happy and free.  I can see all of that when I look around me.  But, do I always see that in me? 

When I hear others say it is difficult to love themselves I normally think, "What? C'mon? How can you not love yourself?  What do you wish for yourself if not all things positive?"  However what does "loving yourself" really look like in thoughts, words and actions?  Sure I want happiness in my life.  Sure I want to be safe and free from harm, living in a country that affords me the freedom to live in the way I choose.  Sure I want to feel content in the work I do and loved by the people I surround myself with.  These are all wonderful things to want for one's self, but how can I take it a step further?

Can I sit in silence not wondering what others are doing and thinking about what more I can do to be productive?  Can I just let my body relax and enjoy rest?  Can I scroll through social media and not feel "less than" others?  Can I hear all about all the wild adventures and impressive accomplishments that others are experiencing and delight in these stories, feeling inspired, without projecting back a feeling of unworthiness or inferiority or "not enough-ness" on myself?  Can I close my self-help books and stop striving to incessantly be or do more?  When the day gets away from me and I don't get all the boxes checked off my to-do list, what thoughts occupy my mind?  When my life isn't shaping up exactly as I had expected or hoped for, what is the self-talk I feed myself?  Can I show myself some compassion and understanding; and truly believe that I am doing the best I can?  Can I trust myself and my capabilities, feeling secure that however things turn out, whatever curve balls life throws my way, that I will be able to figure out a way forward.  Do I have the courage and confidence to live boldly and authentically, not letting anyone else's definition of success distract or trick me into being something else?  This is self-love; and it's an on-going journey.

Whenever in my life I have tried to "be good" and do the things I was told I should do in order to be "successful," I was unhappy, stressed out, unhealthy and felt lost.  Following those valleys were peaks when I have thrown caution at the wind and pursued my heart, such as when I turned my finance major into the study of social/economic justice; when I decided to go to the Peace Corps; when I left corporate finance to work in higher education and study psychology, nutrition and mediation; and finally, when I left in March to travel around the world for a year with my partner.  These have been the times when I was actually listening and honoring my intuition; when I was trusting in myself and giving myself the things that my soul was asking for.  However, self-love isn't a straight and narrow path.  There are still many

times when my inner-perfectionist rears its way into my thoughts and tells me I should be doing more, and directs my attention outward to social media to see what others are doing. 

"I should be doing more.  I am not as talented, healthy, put together, driven, clever, etc., as this person or that person.  What am I doing?! Tighten the reins…work more, exercise more, eat healthier, be more kind and compassionate, push harder, write more, etcetera." 

I like to call this mental diarrhea the ode of "not enough."  However, I am catching on.  I am becoming faster and more skillful at recognizing the storyteller in my head and then letting her know that while her stories are super creative and entertaining; and they remind me of the things in life I value; they are only as real and threatening as I allow them to be.  I can have a sense of humor about it all and then turn my attention back to the present moment by recognizing everything right now that is meaningful and positive.  I can be grateful for my life, all the things I created and all the people and things that keep my heart so full.  And, I can recognize with a huge sense of relief that I am, and we all are, forever a work in progress.

When we can be who we want to be, do what in our heart we know we’d like to do, say what we feel, even at the risk of falling on our face or being judged, then we know we're on this path.

Pondering the Difference between Empathy and Compassion

I recently listened to an interview with Jack Kornfield, a well-known meditation teacher, and he elaborated an interesting distinction between empathy and compassion.  He said that while empathy allows us to feel each other's emotions, compassion triggers us to act on our empathy; not from a place of pity or egocentrism (to make us feel good about ourselves), but on the basis of shared humanity (we're a global family and all in this together). 

I have always been a bit sensitive to the pain/anger/frustration of others, and my response has usually been an attempt at compassion, but laced with pity and/or the assumption that I can and must solve the problem at hand (ego).  How would it look like for me to act compassionately based on Jack's definition?  What would it look like if we treated everyone as our immediate family, offering the same level of support we would offer our partner, parents, siblings, and etcetera?  How can you create space for your beloved to feel and process what he/she is going through and decide for him/herself what's needed for healing?  Sometimes a hug, ear to listen, or a word of empathy is the most compassionate thing.  Imagine if we could all make compassion our new way of living.

How to Flow like H2O

I listened to an interesting TED Talk by Raymond Tang and he uses the metaphor of water to prescribe a certain way of living.  He says we should strive to be:

(1) Humble - helping to give life to those around us without seeking attention or recognition in return.

(2) Harmonious - finding our way around obstacles, rather than fighting against what we confront in our environment.

(3) Open - willing to change and grow based on new experiences and lessons we learn from others.

In situations where we feel angry, nervous, anxious, stressed or otherwise triggered, he prompts us to ask ourselves, "What would water (H2O) do?"

This metaphor really clicked for me and my intentions for this trip.  In terms of being open, I remember when I was a freshmen in college and just so overwhelmed with my workload and wanting to prove I was "smart enough" to be among my peers.  My aunt mailed me a quote by Wayne Dyer that said, "Be a student.  Be open and willing to learn from everyone and anyone.  Being a student means you always have room for new input."  This quote changed the trajectory of my college years (and beyond) because it reminded me that I was there (and I am here now) to learn; and learning meant (means) that I wouldn't (won't) always get the straight A's.  This perspective made learning fun for me and took the pressure away from having to always get things right.

In regard to the second "H" (harmony), one thing David and I have been working on is establishing self-care habits that we can do together, but that also satisfy our individual needs.  I want to wake up early and he likes to wake up naturally next to me (which is usually a bit later than I am used to) and have time to stay in bed for his mind to turn on before starting our day.  We are both interested in exploring new healthy breakfast ideas and new workout options; and we have been flexible to support each other's wishes/desires/needs.  One day we'll do a short run and a yoga class (Keri); and other days we'll do a HIIT workout in the park with some pull-ups (David).  In all of this I have found that even if I don't always get what I want, I am still able to enjoy whatever we do and I am fortunate to share those things with my partner, lover and best friend.  I have been able to recalibrate and find the fun/beauty/adventure/awe in whatever this experience and each moment brings me/us.  Some days it takes a bit more creativity, but I am still getting all my needs met.

And, humility will be my active pursuit for this trip.  I will strive to remain curious and interested about others.  What can I learn from everyone I interact/connect with?  Rather than spilling myself all over others with my own stories (me, me, me), I will ask myself, "What can I do or say to this person that might leave them better off than when I found them?"  In asking this question, I will apply a sense of empathy and compassion, so I will be guided to share based on what I've heard him/her express, rather than imposing what I think they need.

In what ways will you flow like H2O in your day?  How will you show up to the next moment with humility, harmony and openness?

Control is the Enemy of Joy

Day 11 of 365:  I've been pondering this idea that control is the enemy of joy.  Life has proved to me over and over again that I will never be fully in control.  The more effort I have put into trying to seize it, the more disappointed I have become, as my life continues to arrive on its own accord.  Change is self-evident and the more I can flex and flow, the happier I will remain.  During my travels I can choose to want my morning routines and afternoon adventures to look a certain way, but when it doesn't go according to plan, I can choose to either (1) be angry and upset, wishing the day were fully in my control; or (2) recalibrate and figure out what there is now for me to enjoy.  I think the more I can choose option #2, the better off I will be.

Day 8 of 365: Gardening the Life of my Dreams

David and I were reflecting on this trip and the opportunity it gives us to reshape our lives in whatever way we want.

For much of my younger years I was bound in the core belief that "I wasn't enough" and was always striving to be "successful" (what does that even mean?!) according to the standards expressed by those around me and in popular media. I pushed in the ways I was told to push myself and pursued career paths (finance) that didn't match what interested me (directly serving others) or my skillsets (teaching, managing, …) because I was told that this sort of lifestyle would bring me joy.  But, guess what….it didn't (surprise, surprise).  When I first learned about nutrition and exercise, I latched on thinking it would be my ticket to prove myself once and for all, and I threw myself in the fruitless pursuit of eating the cleanest, most healthy diet and becoming the fittest version of myself.  If my job couldn't bring me joy, I reasoned that my stellar "health" would.  I kept pushing harder and harder in this realm.  However, what I learned is that when you push too much in one area of your life, you're draining other aspects of your life.  Not only was I suffering in my career, but spending all my time obsessing about food and exercise (with all the planning/routines/rituals this required) compromised my relationships and connections with other people.  What I learned from all of this is that, for me, happiness thrives in a space of balance.  I believe balance looks very different for all of us.  We have to look at all the things in our life we value (the things that make us come alive) and make sure those pieces all have a place in our life, and in the appropriate measure.  At times we might find ourselves pushing harder in one aspect of our lives, but eventually the incremental value of our efforts will no longer bring us the same sense of satisfaction as it once did (law of diminishing returns).  If we've cultivated balance in our lives, then we are protected from the loss of our sense of self when the thing we value most goes away.

Giving ourselves this year to explore is helping us continue to weed out all the things that weigh us down, and cultivate the kind of life that feels most satisfying.  Each day we have the opportunity to experiment….what/when/how much food, exercise, meditation, fun time, work time, together time, solo time, social time, etc.  I am so grateful that we will be able to try new things, create/solidify new habits/behaviors/perspective, and create the life of our dreams.  However, the truth is that it doesn't taking leaving the country to take inventory of our lives and adjust.  We can all do this anytime, anywhere.  What are some of the things you'd like to try weeding out or incorporating more of in your life?  What is one small experiment you can start today?

Here we go! Day 1 -- March 1, 2018 -- Mexico City

Setting Intentions for this RTW (round-the-world) Trip

We've arrived.  Day 1 of 365 days of travel around the world.  It's all still surreal and I am wondering when it is going to kick in that we are not on vacation.  Before I left, my good friend gifted me a pair of small, triangular cat ear earrings (thank you, Carrie) and I thought it was the perfect gift to represent my intentions for this year.  Carrie and I were talking about how one of the best things you can do when communicating others is to JUST be fully present and listen…without trying to solve the problem, soothe the pain, downplay its severity.  To listen without thinking about what to say next or focusing on other things outside the conversation.  To listen with compassion and without judgment.  I was watching a documentary called Kumaré where, for an experiment, a young man feigned to be an Indian guru and was able to create a small following.  His "teaching" was completely made up and he taught that he (the "guru") was merely a reflection of the inner guru that we can all find in ourselves.  He was basically telling everyone that he was a fake and that they should look inside themselves (and not to him or other external people/circumstances) for healing.  Yet, these people changed their lives for the better based largely on his inspiration.  Why/how do you ask did this happen and why is it relevant?  It's because Kumaré spent 1:1 time with each individual, listening compassionately, with his full presence and without any judgments.  He made each person feel seen and heard; and by doing so, empowered them to make the changes they thought they needed to make in their lives.  As I travel to new places and meet all kinds of different people, I want to listen and learn from them, without judging their way of being or imposing my own.  I want to make others feel embraced by my presence and in return want to remain open-minded to learn what I can from them.  It is my hope I can leave the people I meet feeling inspired, empowered and like they matter.

LIVE OUT LOUD!

Often I find themes in my life that come to me (through books, podcasts, in conversations or social media), stay for a period of time, move me in different ways and then become replaced by new themes.  Of late, the theme du jour has been the idea of taking the lessons we have held in our minds, and moving them to consistent practice.  I have certainly read a lot about happiness and focus and mindfulness and self-love and forgiveness and patience and productivity, etc.; and knowing how to optimize these things is important, but life doesn't happen in our heads.  How do we take what we learn and make manifest the knowledge in our moment-to-moment encounters?  

In a podcast he gave, Amir Zoghi talked about the ways in which people live as a means to an end.  "I will make a lot of money, so I can…travel, have a big house, own lots of fancy things, gain respect, etc."  How can we live the end itself?  How can we pursue our joy today and not put it off for some future time?  

In connection to the idea I opened with, how can I live what I am learning now, in each moment of my life; rather than accumulating knowledge for some future experience, professional endeavor, or for the book I plan to eventually write?  I find myself rushing through the day, crossing things off my to-do list, so I can get to the things that excite me, like learning about health and well-being and the such.  I read, take notes and even discuss these ideas with friends, which is all helpful and positive.  However, how can I instead embody the lessons and "be the change" to model these things in my life?  What would that look like?  For me, that looks like stopping to give my full attention and listen patiently and with empathy when someone is talking to me.  Recognizing when I am being judgmental and shifting into more compassionate thoughts.  Setting boundaries when I feel drained or want to preserve time and energy for self-care.  Standing up for others against bullies in a kind and loving way.  That means rather than accumulating knowledge for the future person I aspire to become, I will instead be that person in this moment and all the next ones I encounter.