I am currently
reading Cal Newport's book, Deep Work: Rules
for Focused Success in a Distracted World, in which he explains how we
can get more done in less time on projects that are important to us, by focusing
our full attention and eliminating distractions. He cites convincing research
about the negative effects of multi-tasking on our overall productivity to
support his argument. Since starting the book, I've been increasingly noticing
how addicted I am to distraction and how I tend to ease my boredom or
procrastinate via social media (specifically, Instagram), mind-wandering,
opting for a snack or beverage break, engaging in superficial conversation,
fidgeting, running non-essential errands, and etcetera. The questions I am now
asking myself are (1) why do I distract myself; and (2) how do I stop? For the
second question, Cal offers practical tips which include having a meditation
practice (I'll say more after), setting aside specific times during the day for
deep work done in a private space where you won't be distracted (consider your
local Starbucks out). While you are working, put a "do not disturb"
sign on your door, shut off email notifications, turn your phone off or put it
out of sight, and commit to not doing anything else until the allotted time has
finished. Similarly, he recommends an "Internet Sabbath," where we designate
specific times during the day to use our technology (web surfing, phone, email,
video games, etc.) and then avoid it for the rest of the day, so we can focus
on work that is more meaningful.
As a meditation
teacher, it would be remiss of me if I didn't say a little more about the
benefits of meditation for deep work.
Meditation can help settle the fear-based thoughts in our minds that
keep us stuck in toxic emotions (anxiety, guilt, regret, etc.). Settling our
thoughts also clears our head to make more room for the deep work. It also
gives us the opportunity to reconnect with our heart/intuition to access its
wisdom. Meditation can additionally help us become more aware of when we feel
triggered, so we can choose to respond to our environment in a loving way.
Lastly, it trains us to become more comfortable with discomfort, so we can
acknowledge and accept when negative emotions/experiences arise, to work
through them and then let them go. (Please send me a message if you want to
learn more.)
In regard to why I
turn toward distractions, I've been doing some reflecting and trace it back to
a fear of "not being enough." Why do I distract myself with
Instagram? Consciously, I want to see what other people are doing, so I can be
inspired. However, unconsciously I believe I want to measure myself up against
others and confirm that I have valuable things to share. Perhaps I am
also looking for something outside of myself (an external distraction) to make
me feel happy and whole, which again implies that I think I need to be and do
more; and that my life needs to be more. Or perhaps the present moment is
uncomfortable and feels out of my control and I don't have confidence/trust in
my ability to handle it, so instead of dealing with the moment, I opt instead
to distract myself or procrastinate. These beliefs are toxic and not only do
they distract me from my deep work, but they are also destructive to my overall
confidence, courage, and growth.
Potential remedies
for this fear of "not enough-ness" have been showing up in my
environment of late (synchronicity?). Author Mel Robbins (The 5-Second Rule) suggests "to stop
giving a shit" and just take authentic action. Who cares what your friends think?! If they
aren't supportive or at least understanding then they don't belong in your
tribe. Maya Angelou also laments on the sadness of "a story untold."
When we escape this moment or when we hide ourselves from the world, we not
only deprive ourselves of self-love and the gift of being able to live
authentically, but we also deprive the world of our bird song.
"I'm not
enough" is a battle I started to fight some time during my teenage years.
I'm learning every day how to win this war and am becoming more and more aware
of when it rears its ugly head in my life. The more I become aware, the easier
it is for me to choose new thoughts and behaviors that reflect the love I want
to express in the world, for both myself and for others. My first step towards
change will be to continue cultivating this moment-to-moment awareness of my
behaviors (we can't change what we are not aware of); and then putting Cal's
tips to work will be the second. As such, I commit to (1) increasing the length
of my morning (meditation) sit, (2) setting 2 times during the day (after
breakfast and lunch) for my social media and internet usage, and (3) listening
to a guided meditation my partner (David) created for me to directly penetrate my
subconscious with suggestions of peace, calm, confidence, and courage, every
night before going to bed.
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