Give your Exhale the Attention it Deserves

When breathing during yoga and meditation, many of us (including myself) have the tendency to pay more attention to our in-breaths and less to our out-breaths, almost as if we are rushing to get to our next inhale and the exhale is merely a roadblock.  But what would it be like to give equal attention to our exhales? In life we are not always fully present/aware, oftentimes running toward the next moment.  Some of us tend to only focus on what is wrong with ourselves and in the world and gloss over the good (negativity bias); others have the tendency to distract themselves from what they don't want to acknowledge. What if we could develop our awareness, so that we can embrace all of life, the good and the not-so-good, to fully experience the joys and be able to feel and release our sorrows? I believe that we can increase our happiness through this process of cultivating awareness and acceptance. Life will continue to show up in ways we can't control or predict. Rather than ignoring or fighting against it, we can acknowledge whatever arises, and then we can choose how we respond (with our thoughts, words and actions) to create a more joyful life for ourselves and for all those we interact with.

Meditation Tip: Embrace Distractions

During meditation, distractions (thoughts, sounds, sensations will come up. Often we try to fight against them and feel annoyed by their arrival. Thoughts and other distractions will always come up (just as your lungs were meant to help you breathe, your mind is meant to help you think). Notice how you feel in your mind, body and spirit (emotionally) when you try to wish away distractions. Then I challenge you to let go of your judgments and your expectation to have silence in your mind during your practice. Let your thoughts/distractions come and go like clouds passing in the sky. Once you get distracted again, bring your attention back to your breath and continue on. If you can practice in this way, you'll notice how much more peaceful and calm you feel afterwards.

Let Them Be

Sometimes when interacting with others we want to intervene with our own words and actions, telling them how we think they should feel or what we think they should do. Often times this comes from an unconscious need to feel in control and rewards us with a sense of safety and stability. We are uncomfortable with the other person's pain, so we want to take it away. 

I had this conversation with David (my partner) last night:

K: "How are you feeling, David?"

D: "I miss my parents."

K: "Well, let's call them."

D: "I know I can call them. I'm just letting you know how I feel."

This is a simple example, but think about all the times you try to intervene in someone else's life to "fix" their problems. Sometimes these people just want you to listen. Let them be. Give that person the love and the space they need to feel seen and heard. Only involve yourself in whatever way they specifically ask of you.

The Awareness Advantage

In the Biology of Belief, Bruce Lipton also explains that our bodies contain receptor cells which receive external cues from our environment; and effector cells which translate the information and produce a response.  Every signal produces a response and our survival depends on this process. In our lives, we depend on information to inform our actions.  When we are fully present, focused, observant, curious and asking questions, we are able to perceive and absorb more information from our environment and thereby make smarter, more life-affirming decisions.  It is true, as Viktor Frankl proposed, that between stimulus and response there in a space and in that space we have the power to choose; and in our choice lies our power and freedom.  In order to make the best choices for ourselves, we need to be aware of external stimuli and what they can inform us. As I am venturing out to new places, I will continue to ask the locals what to do and not to do; where to go and where not to go, so that we can experience the hidden gems and avoid the hidden dangers. In Nicaragua, we received a tip from a local fisherman to visit some natural pools.  Had we not asked him questions (built our awareness), we would have decided not to make the effort to climb over the many rocks to get to the pools or perhaps put ourselves in danger trying to go somewhere we didn't belong (informed our action). I believe that awareness is the secret sauce to a life well lived.

Overcoming Stability to Live a More Delicious Life

In his book, Bruce Lipton (Biology of Belief or "BOB") explains that all cells contain electrically charged molecules that attract or repel each other and in doing so, are able to perform the cell's vital functions. He points out that our cells are perpetually trying to achieve a state of stability. Just like our smallest building blocks, we (full humans) also tend to seek stability, forming patterns/routines/rituals that make us feel comfortable, sticking with what and who we already know.  Arriving at Popoya Beach, I felt a sense of hesitation and anxiety, which is crazy because I love the beach and the ocean and knew I'd have more time to do yoga, meditate, reflect, relax and otherwise take good care of myself.  I decided to investigate these rogue emotions and found that there was an underlying fear of discomfort hiding behind them.  David really wanted me to learn how to surf so we could paddle out together and I was nervous that I wouldn't be able to learn.  I was resistant to the discomfort that comes with the learning process, which, in the beginning, involves a seemingly endless process of trying and failing (repeat). Understanding this, I knew I would not let the fear of failure (not being enough) prevent me from the excitement of enjoying the beach and learning a new sport.  It has been said that if all babies quit trying to walk after falling too many times, we'd be a sedentary species. I decided to give surfing a go and loved (mostly) every second of my experience, surfing 2x every day while we were there.  Change is difficult, venturing into the unknown is difficult, learning something new is not easy.  However, if we don't push ourselves to go beyond our boundaries, we will miss out on some of life's most exciting experiences.  Think about vinegar and oil. Bruce points out that they are oppositely charged and therefore don't mix well together until shaken; and how much more delicious our salads are because of it. I encourage you to go out and explore, do something different, try something new, so that you can venture toward living a more delicious life.

Stepping into My Power at Inanitah

When I arrived at this eco-community, I initially felt intimidated by all the beautiful, smart, talented and powerful women I encountered.  I felt like they all had so much to offer in terms of life experiences and skills/talents/abilities; and I questioned whether I had anything to contribute in return.  My instinct was to hide, shrink away and wallow in my feelings of shame and inadequacy.  However what I learned from my experience and those young women is that I must show up confidently and authentically as my own, unique self to be able to share myself fully with others.  I am me and no one else is like me.  The world needs what I have to offer and I do a disservice to myself and to those around me when I shrink and play small.  I choose to love and honor myself.  I choose to step out boldly in to the world and offer the best of me.  I don't have to be all things to all people.  I must focus on what it is (my unique strengths) that I have to share.  I don't need to look around me and measure myself up against others.  Your gifts are uniquely yours; and mine are uniquely mine.  We all are better off when each of us is shining our own light as brightly as possible.  The strength of our global community depends on the well-being of each individual.  It is my duty, honor and privilege to cultivate my best self in service to our world.

Learning and Growth from Nicaragua to Colombia

We've arrived to Colombia to start the next chapter of our journey.  I've only had this morning to explore but am already falling in love with the people, weather and simple living.  I have been mostly disconnected from technology while I was in Nicaragua, but I still have so much to share about my experience living in an ecological healing center, learning how to surf at a remote beach, all the while reading Bruce Lipton's book, The Biology of Belief, which explores the scientific explanation of how our physical health (and environment) is ultimately shaped by our unconscious beliefs.  I would like to share my reflections in case anyone else can relate and benefit, but it's a lot of ground to cover, so I'll break it up into chunks.  I'll explain more about how I learned to defeat my self-doubt to show up as my most powerful self; practiced self-awareness and curiosity to go beyond fear, embrace adventure, while also staying safe; the science behind polarity and the law of attraction; and more.